PART 1: "I think she'd make a great immortal."

There's no time for us, there's no place for us.

What is this thing that fills our dreams, yet slips away from us.

Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever?

There's no chance for us, it's all decided for us.

This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.

Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever?

Who dares to love forever? Oh, when love must die.

But touch my tears with your lips, touch my world with your fingertips.

And we can have forever, and we can love forever.

Forever is our today.

Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever?

Forever is our today.

Who waits forever anyway?

[WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER? Words and Music by Brian May
Copyright © 1986 Queen Productions Ltd.
As performed by QUEEN
Also: Excerpt from poem "Let Me Think," author unknown, used later
Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.]

Chapter 1

Jackie dashed across the street, just getting to the other side as the amber light turned red. She was very late! Her "errand" was going to take at least two and a half hours, and she needed to get back to work afterwards. Also, if she didn't get there in time, the trip would be wasted.

Two blocks away from her office building, she paused to hail a cab. Ten minutes later, she was running up the entrance stairs of the Plaza Hotel. After a quick trip up the elevator, she was knocking at room 905.

The door swung open silently and Jackie went quickly, breathlessly, into the room.

She stood still for a moment, trying to transition from the mad rush to get here into a calmer state. She watched the man who had been waiting for her close the door and lock it. Then he stepped close to her and reached out to remove her coat.

"Dashing out late again?" he asked quietly, his eyes twinkling and one corner of his mouth crooking up in amusement.

Jackie smiled back at him. The sound of his voice, that deep musical lilt, once again amazed her. He always amazed her; the way he looked, the way he sounded, the fact that when she arrived she always found that he was here, waiting for her. The thought made her duck her head and blush with embarrassment. If anyone knew she harbored such thoughts about anyone, let alone a man, they'd never let her live it down. Unfortunately, this tall, slender man made her do things no one else in the world could.

"It's so hard to get out in time," she replied, just as quietly. She reached up and ran a finder along the strong plane of his jawline. "And how are you, Adam?"

"I'm fine, Jacqueline. And how are you?"

"Fine," she whispered, brushing the backs of her fingers along his high cheekbone. "Just fine."

Adam's smile broadened. Jackie blushed again as she traced a finger down Adam's proud nose. She knew why he was amused. She was fascinated with the bones that formed his facial structures. Whenever she saw him, his face was the first thing she touched. First the line of his jaw, then the brush along the cheekbone, and finally, down the nose. That nose. It was off a statue of Alexander the Great; off a Grecian terra cotta vase; off a coin depicting the profile of Julius Caesar, and Jackie loved it.

Adam captured her hand and, chuckling, led her deeper into the room. He was dressed all in black again: black jeans and a black pullover sweater. Even his raincoat, up on a hook by the door, was black. Not that she was all that well acquainted with his wardrobe. What she did know was that with his dark, short-cropped hair and pale skin, his black clothes made him appear younger and more fragile than she knew he was. If not for the prominence of his facial features, Adam would be nondescript; he would disappear in a crowd. He did have those marvelous features, however, and taken together with his often-unreadable expressions, his black clothes, his pale skin and dark hair, Adam Pierson was a mysterious, powerful presence in her life.

They stopped by the bed and Jackie ran her hands along Adam's arms up to his shoulders. He was doing the same with her. They studied each other in silence, as if they were getting to know each other all over again. Perhaps they were. They did not see each other very often. If she saw Adam twice a month, it was a lot. For the umpteenth time, Jackie wondered why she was here, how she could be here. Just being here violated every vow she'd ever taken, went against everything her life stood for. What they were about to do created a huge secret in her life she shared with nobody.

Nobody in her life knew about Adam Pierson. She had told nobody about him and intended never to tell anyone about him. He was her deep, dark secret.

"Jacqueline," Adam whispered, leaning forward to breathe the word into her hair.

"Hmmm?" She closed her eyes as she felt his lips move along her temple.

"You're thinking again."

Her smile went unseen as she ran her hands into his close-cropped hair and pulled him close to her. "Not for long," she replied.

He pulled back to look at her, to look deep into her eyes. What he saw there apparently satisfied him because he smiled deeply, his eyes crinkling. He and bent and kissed her. Jackie's eyes closed as their lips met. The first one was gentle and sweet, a greeting, a homecoming. It moved very quickly to something deeper and more passionate. Within moments, Adam and Jackie were wrapped around each other, hands moving over each other's bodies, searching for purchase under sweater and blouse, their mouths open to mutual invasion as they both sought to get closer to each other, and then even closer.

It was fortunate that the bed was so close by.

Jackie smoothed her pantyhose up first one leg, then another. It was an hour and a half later. She had had a quick shower, being careful of her hair, and now she was almost dressed. Adam was already dressed, of course, he had been so for a while. He lounged against a wall, his arms crossed, as he watched her, his expression quiet and a bit grave. Jackie tried to imagine seeing through his eyes. He was watching a 39-year-old woman in an executive business suit, 5 feet, five inches tall and about 135 pounds. Her dark auburn hair still untouched by gray or hair dye, swung down her back. Attractive? Yeah, but Jackie still didn't understand what an approximately 34-year-old University professor saw in her or their sporadic affair. She shook her head. She, herself, didn't understand what she saw in a 34-year-old man, University professor or not. Even the fact of their sporadic affair was completely beyond her grasp.

"So, how's Andrea?" Adam asked suddenly.

Jackie glanced up quickly then bent back to her hose. "She's fine. Why?"

"Oh, just curious," he said innocently.

"Just reminding me, you mean."

Adam pushed away from the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets as he sauntered over to the bed. "What d'you mean?"

Jackie sat up and looked at him, raising one eyebrow sardonically. "Oh, come on, Adam. You do this every time. You always ask about Andrea to remind me just where my real life is." She shook her head again and got up. "You don't have to remind me. It's never far from my mind." At the dresser, she turned toward him, her brush in hand. "You must know that I know what we're doing here. Every time we meet, it's a betrayal to her. And I know it. I can't forget it."

"So why do you come?"

She looked at him, trying to figure out if he was being facetious or if he was simply curious. She decided on curious and answered:

"Because you call. The phone rings, and it's you, so here I am." She shrugged and turned away. "I don't pretend to understand this, Adam. I never did. I don't understand why I come, why I always find myself here. But I do know where my real life lies. And Andrea is it. And Andrea is just fine."

Adam came up behind her and wrapped her up in his arms

.

"I'm sorry, Jacqueline. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Jackie turned in the shelter of his arms. Her eyes, when she looked up at him, were filled with sorrow and knowledge. She smiled gently as she said: "Too late, sweetie."

Stricken by her words. Adam's eyes darkened and his arms tightened around her. Jackie grabbed him and held him close. "Shhhhh," she whispered. "Don't worry. Please. I knew what I was getting into. I knew the consequences. I still know them. It's my decision. It's always been my decision. You know that."

She pulled back to make sure that he knew that. It was the truth. She simply couldn't say no to him. She didn't know why; but he had forced her into nothing. Now he was looking sad, and faraway. She shook him lightly and he looked at her. She reached up and ran a finger down the line of his jaw. Then she brushed her fingers across his cheekbone and traced a line down his nose. By the time she was running her fingers through his hair to pull him in for a kiss, he was smiling.

As usual, Jackie was to leave the room first. She made sure she had everything and that she looked the part of a Vice President, the calm, cool head of Human Resources at a securities firm. At the door, she turned back to Adam, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at his hands as if he did not recognize them.

"Do you know when you're coming back to New York?" she asked him.

He shook his head.

"So, you don't know when I'll see you again." It was a statement.

He shook his head again. "No."

"Or if."

At that he looked at her, startled. She smiled at him when he remained silent.

"You take care of yourself, Adam."

"I will, Jacqueline." He smiled tightly, a smile that did not reach his sad eyes. "You take care of yourself."

Their eyes met steadily for a long moment, and then Jackie nodded. She closed the door quietly behind her.

Jackie had to put her lunchtime meeting out of her mind immediately so she could deal with the rest of her day at work. It was not until she was on the train heading home that she allowed herself to think about Adam and their time together. She could count on one hand the number of times they had been together since their first meeting at the Plaza Hotel early that summer. Five times; today was the second time this month.

Going over it in her mind, Jackie realized that they had seen each other twice the month before and once the month before that. Not a whole hell of a lot of time to get to know someone, is it? she asked herself.

She thought about that first time at the Plaza. It was an almost painful memory for her. Fraught with anxiety and guilt, Jackie could not understand why she was there. It was as if she were under some sort of compulsion; as if she had no choice but to be there.

Adam had called her, as he had promised he would when they had first met months before. It had taken him so long to call, she had almost forgotten him, his promise, the entire circumstance of their meeting; almost. With the sound of his voice, however, the memories came flooding back.

Jackie cursed her luck. She was "invited," she was told, because she was a Vice President. It was a perk, she was told. A free six-night cruise to Canada and back, a different way not only to have high-level company meetings, but since there were other companies on board, there would be a lot of networking. All that would be required of her was her attendance at one or two meetings a day. The rest of the time would be spent schmoozing and partying. All VPs were going. What a load of BS. She was the only VP on the cruise. Everyone else from her company was either a Senior Vice President or an Executive Vice President.

It was obvious to her minutes after she boarded why she was "invited." Although she was only a Vice President, she was in Human Resources. She headed up the HR department, and she was there to make sure that people went to the meetings to which they were assigned. So here she was. Personally, she didn't think that her presence was going to make much difference. If anyone didn't want to go to a meeting, just having her on board was not going to change their minds. But there was nothing she could do about it, so she hunkered down and got herself a drink, and thought about Andrea--again. She hadn't been allowed to bring Andrea because "nobody is allowed to bring his or her spouse." She knew that inviting spouses would have been prohibitively expensive for the company, but it didn't make this trip any easier.

Jackie attended the meetings she had to and conducted the training sessions she had planned, but avoided the bars and clubs where all the schmoozing and partying were happening. She spent a great deal of that time walking the decks and hanging by the rails staring out to sea. Just because she avoided the bars didn't mean she wasn't getting a lot of drinking in. There was a myriad of bar waiters who were always passing by, asking her if she wanted a drink. Since her company was picking up the tab even for alcoholic beverages, she rarely said no. Because of these fine service personnel, Jackie was able to keep a constant buzz going.

After a day or two at sea, she couldn't help but begin to notice some of the same people, especially since she kept doing the same things. She began to notice the same man who was following her pattern: avoiding the bars and clubs and getting his drinks--beer--from the passing waiters. It was not long before they spoke to each other. They introduced themselves and began a conversation that continued whenever they would run into each other.

He was a pleasant enough fellow, unassuming and quiet, pale of skin and dark of hair and clothes. He had the odd combination of a quick smile and serious eyes. It was that odd combination that kept him in her mind; that made him stand out for her. Everyone else on board had faded into the background by now. They were a mass of people with indistinguishable features who seemed to be in constant motion; talking, working, dancing. Mr. Adam Pierson was definitely not part of the background. He didn't say much, but when he did, it was definitely about something. He seemed to know a little bit about a lot of things and enjoyed talking with someone who was also interested in a lot of things.

They laughed quite a lot. Adam Pierson had a quick wit and an odd sense of humor, but no matter how much they laughed, his eyes stayed serious. They would smile, but it wouldn't last. There were only a few times when she saw his eyes light up completely with amusement, and those times were quiet times, when they were not even talking. Usually they were standing at the rails or lounging on deck chairs staring out to sea. Jackie wondered who or what he was thinking about at those times. What was it that could be the only thing that could banish the seriousness from his eyes? She never asked. She felt that she didn't know him well enough to invade his privacy that way.

Interestingly, Mr. Pierson was the only person on board actually traveling somewhere. Everyone else was taking the cruise from New York to Canada then back to New York, mostly because of work. Mr. Pierson, however, was taking the ship one way to Canada. That was something Jackie felt that she could ask him. So she did.

It was the second night of the voyage. She and Adam were sitting out in deck chairs with drinks, both of them ignoring the pounding of the disco coming from below decks. Adam had been talking about the stars as a navigational tool. It was quite dark where they were sitting and the stars were shining brightly.

"You must really love the sea," Jackie said to him.

He looked at her, surprised. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, you know so much about it. You're traveling by sea, which is something people don't do anymore. Besides, you sound like you would be quite a sailor."

He smiled, shaking his head. "Oh, I am quite the sailor, but I don't really like the sea. I try to avoid the water."

It was Jackie's turn to be surprised. "But you're traveling by sea!"

"Well, yes, but it's only a method of travel. You told me yourself that you hate flying. Yet you do it. All the time."

"I have to, sometimes. Why ARE you traveling by sea, Adam?"

He shrugged, settling deeper into the chair. "I had some extra time," he said. "I wasn't in the mood to fly, the boat was going my way, I got a good deal because they were trying to fill it up, and I wanted to spend some time alone, so--" He gestured at the surrounding ocean with his bottle then took a sip.

"Well, you certainly have enough reasons. But I guess I should go in."

"Why?"

"Well, you said you wanted to be alone. I've been monopolizing you for several hours now, so--" She gestured to the surrounding ocean.

Adam reached out and patted the arm of her chair. "Please, stay. When I said alone, I meant away from people who know me. And you don't know me," he finished with an odd note in his voice.

Jackie sat down, curious. Adam had shown little in the way of emotions up to now. He was always cordial and polite, full of fascinating information and knowledge that he was willing to share, but it was all surface stuff. Suddenly she got a glimpse of something else. She wanted to know more, and forgot that she barely knew him.

"Had a bad time of it lately?" she asked him.

He laughed shortly. "You can say that."

"Where are you coming from, Adam? Do you live in New York?"

"No. I'm here from Paris." He stared out into the dark for a moment. Then he took a long pull from his beer and said, carefully: "A friend of mine was just murdered. The murderer came after me, but I managed to get the cops onto him. Then I decided to leave Paris for a bit."

Jackie's eyes widened. Ye gads. Talk about opening up and spilling your guts. She was silent for a moment, scrambling around for a response to this heavy, loaded statement, and fighting to cover her shock. "So, ah, er, he's in jail now?"

One side of Adam's mouth crooked up and he glanced over at her, a hint of mischievous merriment in his eyes. "Yes, he is. Relieved?"

She looked at him, speculatively. "I'd say so. Are you playing with me, Adam? Pulling my leg?"

"Not at all," he asserted, shaking his head. "I'm telling you the absolute truth."

Jackie leaned over the arm of her chair to get close to him. "Why did you tell me that?"

His face was unreadable. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we're having this pleasant conversation, this two ships passing in the night thing, and suddenly, you tell me this terrible story. A friend murdered, your own life almost lost, running away to sea. Not that I mind," she added quickly, interrupting him as he opened his mouth to respond. "I'm glad you told me, and I'm glad you're moving the conversation away from the stars. I'm just wondering why. You don't seem like the type to share stuff like that readily."

He was quiet for a bit, fiddling with his bottle. "I don't know why I told you that, Jacqueline. You're right. I don't share things easily. But," he shrugged, "you're easy to talk to. And, I guess, it helps that I don't know you and will probably never see you again."

Jackie smiled. "Well, I guess it's good to get stuff off your chest."

"Yes, it certainly is. Especially since I know it won't be going anywhere, right?" He looked intently at her, the question in his eyes obvious.

The answer was easy. "That's right. It won't go anywhere."

"You won't even tell your lover, or your husband?"

Jackie laughed aloud at the blatant leading question. "My lover. Andrea. And no, I won't even tell her. Unless you say it's okay." She sobered. "You shared something pretty personal. I can't divulge that unless you tell me to."

Adam smiled, and this time, though the smile was sad, it did reach his eyes. "I felt that about you," he replied quietly. Suddenly all business, he looked around. "Well, now that we need a drink, where are all those waiters? Ah, there's one. Want another?"

Jackie nodded, studying her deck companion. It was a deft change of subject. Adam had said all he was going to say about himself and was moving on. Jackie silently agreed. It was a lot to digest and she was feeling the need for a drink herself. She was only curious about what subject he was about to bring up.

The waitress took their order and they waited quietly until she brought the drinks.

"So," Adam said as they sat back with their replenished drinks. "Tell me about Andrea."

Jackie laughed. "Okay. Andrea. We met in our twenties, at a conference. We became friends quickly and were friends for about nine months before we became lovers. We moved in together a year later, and we've been together ever since."

Adam lifted an eyebrow. "That's very admirable. How long is that? Ten years?"

Jackie laughed again. "Thank you so much, two times. It's almost fifteen, but thanks for the sentiment. I'm a bit older than I look."

He leaned close to her. "Well then. It's even more admirable, don't y'think?"

She shrugged, then met his eyes, smiling. He smiled back at her and they stayed that way for a moment, sharing the smile. Adam broke it first, glancing over the rail at the ocean.

"What does Andrea do?"

"She's also in Human Resources. The conference we met each other was an HR conference. She was working for another securities company at the time. She works for a manufacturing company now, but she's still in Human Resources. What does Adam Pierson do?"

"Me? I'm a researcher--at a University." He paused for a moment. "Almost a professor, I guess. But not quite."

"You're kind of young, aren't you?"

He looked over at her, surprised. "What d'you mean?"

"Well, you seem too young to be more than a graduate student. A professor? I don't know."

Adam broke out laughing at that, a rich, true laugh that came from deep within him.

"What? What's so funny?" Jackie asked, smiling despite herself. Adam laughing so freely was a delightful change from his usual seriousness.

Adam shook his head and waved a hand dismissively. "I look younger than I am as well," he said, chuckling. "And I am barely more than a graduate student. I've got quite a bit to go before becoming a full professor." He was smiling broadly, his eyes bright with amusement. "And I seriously doubt I have the patience to get that far."

Jackie grinned at this new Adam. "You're really cute when you laugh like that."

Adam colored at the non sequitur and took a pull from his beer. "Careful, Jacqueline," he said to the bottle. "You're starting to turn my head."

"Yeah, sure, I am," Jackie chuckled, dismissing the thought and taking a deep drink herself.

Neither of them seemed to have much to say after that, and they finished their drinks in companionable silence.

As they parted company for the night, they made plans to meet the following night at the same spot. It was the first time they had made active plans to meet. It seemed like the most natural thing to do.

The conversation the following night took a definite turn toward the personal. Adam asked Jackie about her lesbianism. He wanted to know how long she had known she was gay (since she was 16), how her family took it (they didn't want to talk about it) and how the people at work treated her when they found out (not differently, except they tended to be more open with her).

Jackie asked Adam about his personal life. Did he have a lover? (No, not right now.) What did his work entail? (Ancient history.) Was he gay or straight? This last caused him great amusement.

When he calmed down a bit, Jackie pushed. "Well, which one?" This only sent him off on more peals of laughter. Jackie was completely bewildered. "I've never seen that reaction to that question before. Haven't you ever been asked that before?"

"Not in so many words, no. People usually try to be more, well, tactful or cautious when asking something like that." He chuckled as Jackie had the good taste to blush.

"Well, I won't ask again," she said. "When you're ready to answer it, let me know."

Adam, still smiling broadly, reached over and patted her arm. "Come on. Let's take a walk."

They made a full circuit of the outside of the ship, not saying much, finishing the drinks they started out with. Adam looked a question at her when they passed a bar waiter, but Jackie shook her head. They walked on.

Jackie was only slightly surprised when Adam slipped his hand into hers. It seemed quite natural. She sneaked a glance up at him, but he wasn't looking at her. There was, however, a twinkle in the eye she could see. He seemed happy tonight, or at least not as somber as usual. She shrugged inwardly and they walked on, hand in hand.

Near a darkened, quiet part of the promenade, far from the disco beat and the constant hum and clink of the many bars, they stopped to look at the stars and the black ocean. Jackie leaned against the rail and looked down at the barely visible wake of the ship, the wind whipping her hair around her face. Adam put an arm around her.

"Careful," he said quietly.

She looked up at him. "But there's no danger," she replied.

"Isn't there?" Then he kissed her.

Unlike the handholding, this really surprised her. She pulled back, her brow knitted with bewilderment. Adam simply watched her, his expression one of calm waiting.

"Is that the answer to my question?"

He only smiled and moved toward her again.

Jackie took another step back. "I'd better go in."

"Shall we meet tomorrow night?"

For some reason, the question was unexpected. "I--I--don't--I don't think so," she stammered. She was finding it hard to look him in the face. Her mind was swirling with confusion. She wanted to run away from him but at the same time, she wanted to stay and confront him with the questions darting around her mind. He was right, she suddenly realized. There was danger here. She started to turn away, but was stopped by a gentle touch on her arm.

She looked back at him. His face was calm, without expression, but his eyes were filled with hope. "Tomorrow is my last night on board," he reminded her.

"I know," she said. She stared at him, caught by his eyes, even more confused by the hope she saw in them.

Adam smiled gently. "You know where to find me," he said.

Jackie nodded silently. Somehow she found her way back to her cabin.

The only reason she went back to the usual spot the next night was because she had to know why. At least, that's what she told herself. He was waiting for her.

The relief she saw in his face when he caught sight of her befuddled her all over again.

"Jacqueline! Glad you're here!"

"Adam." She was very brisk. "I only came for one reason."

"I know. You want to know why."

Surprised, she stammered, "Why, why, yes."

"This is why," he answered. Stepping close to her, he took her face gently in his hands and kissed her. She tried feebly to push him away, but he held onto her, twining his fingers into her long hair. The kiss went right through her. It pierced her heart, fired her loins and weakened her knees. She wanted nothing more than to respond. With a fierce act of will, she finally broke the kiss.

"Adam!" she gasped. "Stop it!"

"Why?" he asked breathlessly. "You want it as much as I do."

She shook her head against the truth. "That's not the point!" Her eyes widened at her own response. She should be denying these feelings, lying about them, if necessary, not admitting to them. Her lips tightened. "Tell me why!" she forced out.

"I wanted to. You're a very interesting woman, Jacqueline. I wanted to know you better."

"And you call this getting to know someone better?"

Adam shrugged and gestured helplessly. The whole effect made him look very young, very endearing, and very attractive. Jackie shut her eyes tight and shook her head.

"Adam. I am a 39-year-old executive. You are what? a 27-year-old grad student. The differences between us are too great to list."

He laughed; a delightful sound. It seemed as if he had lost all of his seriousness and was acting as young as he looked. "I'm not all that young," he said at last. "And I like the differences. Besides, who cares about the differences?"

"I do," Jackie answered. "I do. And age and occupation aside, I'm a lesbian, Adam! Remember?"

"Of course!" Adam said, his voice intense. "But being gay doesn't mean you're dead to new people, or new experiences."

"I'm with someone, Adam!" Her voice spiked, attracting the attention of some bar waiters. She turned from him, leaning against the railing. Adam moved next to her. He lifted her hair where it was blowing across her face.

"So you don't want this." It was a statement.

"I can't want this," she answered quietly. "And even if I did, I can't have it."

He bent, brushing his lips against her neck. "Who's to know, Jacqueline?" he whispered, breathing her name into the channels of her ears, chasing shivers down her spine. She closed her eyes as he nuzzled her earlobe and the tender spot behind it, his breath ghosting into her hair and across her cheek.

"I'd know," she said weakly. She was starting to lose it. This fascinating, attractive man was pushing every button she had. He had been from the beginning, whether he realized it or not. He was doing things to her no man had ever been able to do.

"You said it yourself, Jacqueline. Two ships passing in the night. It's all of a piece, don't you see? I can talk to you so easily because we're never going to see each other again. I'm attracted to you because I can talk to you so easily. Because I'm so attracted to you, I can be free with you. I can have fun with you. I can be happy--" His voice trailed off. He took her hands in his, staring down at them, chafing them.

"Adam--"

He pulled her into his arms. This time she responded to the kiss. Undefined feelings slammed through her with such force, she groaned. She would have sobbed if Adam were not stopping her mouth with kisses.

It seemed to go on for a long, long time. They were getting to know each other. They were searching each other out, exploring each other, testing the limits of their boundaries.

Finally they parted for a breath. Jackie's chest was heaving with emotion, her mind blanked. She reached a hand up to stroke Adam's face, something she just realized she'd wanted to do from the first time she'd met him. She ran her hands over the prominent planes of his face, along his jaw, across his cheek, down his nose. Adam smiled, closing his eyes, leaning his cheek into the caress, kissing the palm of her hand. He pulled her close to him, his eyes glazed with the wanting of her. She was amazed. She ran her fingers into his hair and pulled him down to her and this time, she kissed him. And this time, he groaned.

He would have taken her back to his cabin, but she wouldn't go. It was one thing to give in to kissing and necking with a man on board a ship when your lover was hundreds of miles away, but it was quite another to have sex with him. Besides, it had been more than fifteen years since she'd thought about pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, and she certainly didn't want to start now.

Oddly enough, he didn't seem upset or disappointed. His reaction to her refusal was matter-of-fact.

"May I walk you to your cabin?" was all he said.

She didn't answer; she just turned in that direction. He slipped his hand into hers and she let him, and they walked to her cabin that way.

"What time do you get off tomorrow?" she asked at her door.

"8 am. Will you be there?"

"If you like."

He smiled. He was still holding her hand. He cupped her cheek with the palm of his other hand. "I'd love it," he whispered. He leaned in to kiss her but she stopped him with gentle fingers against his lips.

"Not here."

She quickly opened her door with her free hand and they moved into the room together. She shut the door behind her and he claimed his kiss. She responded. She pulled back from him as soon as she could, angst and confusion warring with desire.

"I don't understand this, Adam! What are you doing to me?"

"What am I doing to you?" he asked incredulously. "What are you doing to me?"

"I'm not doing anything! Men I barely know don't make a habit of running after me, wanting to kiss me. Hell, not even women do that! And if they do, I usually don't want anything to do with them. Even the women!"

"Do you think I make a habit of kissing women I've just met? This is very unusual for me, too, you know!"

She turned away, her hands shaking, her mind swirling with confusion. "I don't know. I don't know. I don't understand what's happening here with me. How can I hope to understand you? I've just met you!"

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Come, come," he said, soothingly. "It's okay. It's okay. It will be fine. It's just one of those things. Perhaps we got to know each other too quickly. Perhaps we shared too much of ourselves too quickly." He turned her around, ran his fingers through her hair and placed a sweet kiss against her brow. "Perhaps I shared too much of myself too quickly," he admitted. "I don't do that. I may have gotten to feel too comfortable with you too quickly. My emotions got tangled." He shrugged. "Got carried away, I guess."

Jackie laughed shakily. "You could say that for the both of us."

He ducked his head so he could look into her face and studied her eyes intently. He obviously liked what he saw because his face relaxed into a smile that wreathed his face. He looked so young when he smiled like that!

"I'd better go pack." He held her close to him, kissing her cheek and temple. Jackie stroked his cheek and ran a thumb along the ridge of his cheekbone.

"I'll go up to see you off," she said, her voice hoarse. She put a hand on either side of his face and kissed him. She was never going to see him again, and no one was going to hear about this, so she kissed him deeply, closing her eyes and opening her mouth against his gentle insistence. She was just as insistent.

He was holding her, just holding her, when she felt him start.

"What is it?"

"What's that?" he asked, pointing at her dresser. She looked over and saw that he was pointing at the tiny metal briefcase that held her business card.

"This?" She held it up. He nodded. "It's my business card." She opened it up to show him. In an automatic gesture, she gave him one.

He looked at it. "VP, eh? You didn't tell me that part."

She shrugged and smiled. "I guess it never came up." She reached out to take the card back, but he kept it out of reach.

"I'd like to keep it, if you don't mind."

"Well, well--I don't know," she replied hesitantly. She didn't really mind, but was a bit doubtful.

"Don't worry, Jacqueline," Adam said, slipping the card into his shirt pocket. "It's only a business card. Perhaps I'll want to do business with you someday."

"Oh, sure, right. Of course you will." The twinkle in her eye matched the one in his. The thought of the two of them doing business together was a ludicrous as, well, as the two of them being lovers.

Suddenly they both laughed, as if they were sharing the same thought, which was quite possible that they were.

As one, they stepped toward each other and wrapped their arms around each other. They stayed that way for a while. Then they shared another kiss, their last kiss. It was deep and hard and final and said goodbye for them. When it ended, Jackie went up on tiptoe to kiss Adam's cheek. She ran a quick finger down the side of his nose before kissing the edge of his mouth.

Adam captured her hand, kissed her palm and then her lips. They stood staring at each other for a long moment, and then, in silence, Adam left her room.

Jackie didn't move for a long time. Then when she did, it was to lock the door behind him. She didn't know how she felt, and she didn't know how she was supposed to feel. It was all too quick, too intense and now, it was over. She took a deep breath and shook herself.

A hot shower, she told herself. A long, hot shower and then bed. And no thinking. No thinking at all.

Jackie was true to her word and was at the railing when Adam came up on deck to disembark. There were other people getting off the ship, but they were only going ashore for a few hours to visit the Canadian coastal town. Adam was the only one getting off with luggage. She was by the gangplank as the line of people going ashore moved past her. Adam came up to her, wrapped in his black coat, wearing his serious, studious expression. Jackie half expected him to start a discourse about the geography of the Canadian coast, but he said nothing. He wasn't even looking at her as he kept his attention focused on the crowd on the dock. At last, Jackie decided to speak.

"You take care, now," she said quietly.

"I will," he replied, still watching the dock. "You take care as well."

"I will."

He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small square of cardboard and held it between two fingers. She recognized her business card.

"I'll call you the next time I'm in New York."

Jackie almost laughed out loud. "Sure," she said, grinning. "Whenever."

Adam smiled as well, but his eyes were serious. "I mean it," he said quietly.

Jackie sobered as she looked at him. He certainly seemed like he meant it. "Okay," she said. "I'll look forward to hearing from you."

He gave her a tight smile and joined the line of disembarking passengers. She watched him all the way down the gangplank and onto the dock. He moved away from the crowd clustered around the ramp and stopped, looking up at her. She waved at him. He held her card up and waved back. Then he turned and walked away into the crowds. She lost sight of him almost immediately.