Three Cards

I look up at the Phantom Moon- to where Hitomi is. When I can, I look in at her, at her world. She seems happy, smiling and laughing, but when at times, when our eyes meet...

She whispered it to me, and I smiled as she said it. Trying to disregard the sadness in her eyes, the pain in mine. I keep telling myself that I hadn't lost the only one who I can love...

Had I even understood it when I had told her that sweet lie? The pain of seeing glimpses of her so far away from me; the only thing that makes it bearable is that her thoughts are ever-present in my heart, next to my soul.

I'm rebuilding Fanelia for her, so that if she comes back... when she comes back, she can see all the happiness that a true kingdom with a true king has. So that she can smile up at me, and tell me that she will stay with me forever...

Mother, I've found her -- the one you knew was meant for me. The one that I was born for... I kept my promise to you, and hid myself from everyone, from all those voices that hated both of us.

From those who thought we were monsters and dangers to everyone... When I revealed myself to her, I had thought she would be like the rest -- after all, who wouldn't hate the demons who had almost destroyed the world? And yet, all she told me...

That was all she said. She didn't even know how much those words meant to me, even though she is a person who can see into another's soul. How could she have known that she was the only one who had ever seen these wings, after my foolhardy attempt so long ago?

I had jumped, and had reveled in the feel of cool wind raising me up -- only to let me fall, dropping me and letting me plummet to the ground... Then you came and saved me, mother. You flew, which you had never done in public before, and saved your foolish child...

That was all you had said in that sad, quiet voice. In a voice that knew the pain that being one of us would bring to me.

Cursed demons... But Hitomi had seen, and hadn't cared. In her voice was only an innocent admiration, a warm thankfulness. I think that was when I realized that I was in love with Hitomi...

Mother... I think you would be happy to see me now, to see Fanelia now. We're building for the future, and peace is here to stay, I think. I only need one other to be with me now to finish it.

Her whisper-thought comes to me through the night, and I can't help smiling. She knows exactly when I need her the most... Closing my eyes, I envision her world, so strange and crowded. Holding her pendant in my hand, I feel for her heart, and open my eyes to see her staring out of her room, at the moon. At Gaea.

She smiled and turns to me. Looking at her, I see the ghost of a pain suppressed. A pain unacknowledged... She reaches out for me tentatively, and flinches as her hands grasp at empty air. Her expression is eloquent as she draws her hand back and sits at the edge of her bed.

I smile at her, and mimic sitting on the bed next to her. I can't feel anything of her world, just like she can't touch anything of mine -- and she knows it. All I can do is be near her... but never with her.

She glances at me with her sad eyes, and then puts up the front that I've seen her erect countless times before, which I've felt her place near her heart. Whenever anyone asked her if there was anything wrong, or if there was something troubling her, she would smile and shake her head slowly. Quietly, she would put another barrier between her heart and her life, and then reply that she was fine -- what could be wrong?

Her look is stricken, and she closes her eyes. I feel her thoughts next to mine, and feel the shield crack and shatter. A single tear forms at the corner of her eye, and I instinctively reach out to brush it away. Forgetting for a moment...

I watch it slide through my non-physical form, and splash against her hand. She opens her eyes at that, and sees my expression. Quiet pain...

I don't finish my words as she leans her face against my hand -- against where my hand would be, if... I sigh, and let my wings unfurl, burst through the silken material of my loose red shirt. Gods be damned, I'm the King of Fanelia -- I'll get a new shirt.

She smiles in delight as she feels them -- the wings that mark me as demon, as cursed. Only to her are they beauty or joy... only to her. I hold her in my wings' grasp for a long infinity of a moment.

She is holding a single feather in her hand, and is looking at me with the slightly faraway gaze of the seer in her eyes. I can't say anything to that, and instead, I try to take the feather from her grasp. She holds onto one end, and I hold onto the other... our only link.

I hesitate, and lower my eyes to the feather. I take a breath, and let it go. She drops her end also, and it flutters into her lap, and then onto the floor. It lies there for a moment, before being caught by the wind of the open window. Finally, it flies away into the night, leaving both of us behind...

I look up at her, and she smiles. Reaching over, she grabs the cards that had been placed very carefully onto the center of the desk. Placing them on the bed, she takes a deep breath, never taking her eyes away from mine.

She does a very simple spread for me -- three cards, no more. Not foreseeing, but merely one question asked.

Hitomi looks up at the moon, at Gaea almost involuntarily, and then smiles wanly at me. She takes a breath, and lets it out.

She turns over the second card, and nods to herself.

Hitomi pauses and looks at me. I gaze back at her, acknowledging the limbo our lives have been in. The takes another breath, and then turns over the third card. She starts a bit, and then lets out another shaky breath.

I gaze at her again, at her shaken expression. Then, I turn and concentrate on the pendant.

I don't turn back, and let my wings go back to where they have hidden almost all my life.

I can't help myself. I turn to catch one more glimpse of her, so far away from me...

I smile bitterly, and then drop the pendant on the floor. Somehow, it materializes into her world...

I hold out the Energist that is ever with me, and let the radiance start to pull me back up.

I stop as I feel something hit my back. I turn and glance down at the ground, to see the pendant that I had left-

I blink at Hitomi's truly angry expression, and at the echoing of the words that she had spoken to me that eventful day. I can't help back up as she storms at me with a furious expression on her face.

She turns away abruptly, and goes to the bed. She picks up the cards, and then shows me the ones that had just foretold our relationship.

Another tear threatens from the corner of her eye, and she looks like she's about to scream. I don't know what to say to her... I can't say anything.

I blink as she snatches the pendant from my grasp. As she places it on, it starts to glow. Then, she steps back slowly, and then raises her hand. She glares at me, and then swings her hand toward me swiftly, until it contacts painfully with my face.

I rub at my sore cheek, and then glance at her, at my wonderful clever Hitomi. I can't help but start to laugh, and she joins me. Finally, we both calm down, and then I reach over to brush away the tear from her cheek.

Both of us are silent, until she nods.

She smiles, exuberantly.

I reach over to her, and take her in my arms. I let my wings out again, and they wrap around her, pulling her closer to me. Looking into her eyes, I smile, and kiss her deeply, sweetly.

Mother... I've found her, and I'm never letting her go. No one will ever take her from me again...

---Finis---

Last updated: 7/30/98