Heero looks at me in exasperation. "What possible reason could you have for wanting me to get into this?" He points to the white outfit that I have just placed in front of him and gives me a cold stare. It's the one that he has given to many of his victims- cold and hard. I smile, knowing that he doesn't mean it, and wait for him to finish speaking. "I went shopping with you- I wore the new clothes. But this is too much." Then he turns away, ignoring what I had left on the bed, and sits to face the wall.

I look at his back and shake my head. I had expected something like this... I know Heero better than he thinks. I sit down beside him, and put my arms around his neck. He ignores me as my lips play on his ear, working their way down to his jaw. Finally, he looks at me, his eyes promising that he will not bend.

"Heero... is it too much to ask you to just do this one thing for me?" I give him a soulful look, and stare directly into his eyes. I almost dare him to look away with my gaze, but he won't, of course. I detect a tiny crack in his wall of indifference, and push forward ruthlessly. "Please? For me?"

He exhales sharply with a short laugh and pulls away from me. It is true rejection this time and he avoids my touch. I look away in disappointment, and sigh. I suppose my tactic has failed... I go to put away the clothes when a whisper reaches my ear. "Why? Duo, I don't understand why this should even matter."

I look back, and he is gazing at me with softer eyes. I smile a little sadly, and put the clothes back on the bed. "Why? Why should anything really matter to us?" I don't know why, but somehow, my bitterness wakens. It is rare that I feel this way, since I usually submerge it in my laughter. But today, right now, I can't help it...

"What are we, Heero? No, don't answer. You and I both know what we are. Weapons. Bringers of Death, where ever we may be..." I look up at him, and see the answering acknowledgement in his eyes. "We were both ones who should have been children, but never could be- we had a higher purpose than that."

I look down at the floor, and sit there, hugging my knees. "It's nice to pretend that we're a little normal- that's why I took you shopping, made you learn how to cook more than eggs..." I trail off for a time- even at that moment, the memory of Heero's disastrous cooking lesson could still bring a smile to my lips. Still, that fades too quickly- much too quickly for my melancholy mood to break.

"But we're not normal! How can we be? You and I have been trained to kill, to die. That is our purpose, our function. We've been programmed to be the perfect soldier... at least, you have. Me, I cope by being the joker- the one who makes everyone laugh so they can ignore my quiet pain..." I hear the rustle of cloth behind me. I suppose he is putting away that silly thing for me...

"Even now... I can pretend that lovers are all we are. But what would happen to us if one of us had to kill the other? Would you disobey? Would I? What if we had to commit suicide, as we should if we are endangered? I would if I had to, and I know that you would..." I shudder as I remember all the times that he had tried to embrace death, my Heero- I don't want to see that again, but I know that it's impossible.

"Do you want to die, Heero? I want to, sometimes- maybe most of the time. I don't know- I don't know anything, except my purpose. Except now, I don't even know that anymore. I- I don't want to see you die... I don't want you to go away. Not ever... not ever." I feel the tears start, and can't do anything about them. Why should I? He and I are the only ones here- no one else would care, anyway. Who cares about a broken toy?

"But you will, one day- or I will. Nothing is permanent... not even if I wish that it would be forever, our time is so short. All I wanted was one little thing... but you're right, of course. It really doesn't matter. Why should it? We don't really exist. Most people don't know about us, except as nameless terrorists. If they saw us truly, they would want us to go away-" I glance up and stop speaking. My heart feels as if it is about to stop...

He looks at me with a quiet expression. Tranquil, still. "So, why did you want me to dress up in this thing, anyway?" I can't speak as I look at him. He is wonderful, beautiful in his white pants and shirt, the white vest going perfectly with the two. I see the little black tie in his hand, and I go to take it from him. "Heero... Thank you."

He smiles down at me as I do the tie for him. "For what? You're right, Duo. Nothing is permanent. So why should I complain about such a little thing? It won't matter later when we're fighting anyway-" He stops as I step back to take a look at him. "Oh, Heero- you look..." I can't take the silly little smile off of my face as I reach into my bag.

I remove the camera I had bought and I give him a small smile. "Would you mind?" He understands, and nods. He stands still and quiet as I take the pictures. Finally, when I am done, he asks the question that he has wanted to ask, the question that he had so thoughtlessly asked before. "Why? What was the point of this?"

I think the expression on my face is rather sad, by the way he looks at me. Concern is showing on his face, and he reaches to me, putting his arm around me. "Nothing is permanent. Nothing- not even you. I don't want to lose you, Heero... but I know that it'll probably happen, one day." I stop as he tightens his grip on me. For today, he is here...

"I just wanted something to have of you. Do you realize that I have no pictures, no letters, nothing that is truly yours? Nothing, except for your heart. I know I have that... But I want something that I'll be able to look at, and remember a time when we weren't killing or destroying..." I look back at his thoughtful face, and smile. "Now, I have this, of you."

His voice is quiet, a little sad. "Only that? Nothing more?" I nod. "What else can we have?" He doesn't answer me, and I don't expect him to say anything at all. We just stand there, holding each other for an endless moment, in a everlasting dance, until finally, he speaks.

"If you have your image of me, I want one of you." He says it in a fierce, almost defensive tone. "I don't think I'll be able to keep pictures, though. Would you just give me-" He puts his hand gently on my braid, and takes the cord out of my hair. "Would you give me this? And-" Running his fingers through my hair, he smiles. He takes out a knife, and puts it close to one of my brown locks of hair.

Looking up at him, I nod. He makes a careful cut, taking only a bit of hair and he ties it into a little bundle with the cord. He places it somewhere- in a hidden spot, never too far from him. Then he looks at me, and frowns. "Now, what will we do about your hair..." He takes the tie off from his neck, and starts to put my hair back in it's braid again.

"No- not yet." I stop his hand with mine, and put my lips to his. "Not yet, my..." For a moment, I cannot think of what to call him. What is he to me? Comrade, lover, friend? Any or all- it is everchanging, our relationship. Then, I realize. "My soul-guardian... Heero..."

I guide his hands away from my hair, and I start helping him get out of the outfit. It is quiet, until he answers. "You are my watcher, the only one who holds the keys to my heart. My-" I put one finger to his lips. It is enough. We both know what we know, and I can't help but to think back to the pictures, safe in my camera.

As his lips brush my face, my throat, my chest, I know. I know that the pictures are useless, because if he goes away, I will follow. That is the only thing that I can promise about our future. I will never let him leave me behind. Never.

---Finis---