Compensation

The stars are distant tonight.
They're farther than they've ever been,
Seem harder to reach than ever before...
Because you are gone.
For you, I will go up to the heavens,
Start a war, take the universe.
If I did not do at least that,
What possible justification can there be
For your death?

Did you think I never knew
What you were to me?
Never just friend or companion.
You were the love that could vanquish my need for vengeance,
Temper my ambition.
Always with a kind word, a gentle smile,
A strong heart and soul,
You were the balance.

You were the guardian to my soul,
Caretaker in my sister's place.
Without you, how can I know?
You were the small voice next to my ear,
My conscience, my guide.
You were the support I leaned on.
Without you, how can I rule?

Did you think that you were hiding that love,
That secret that you kept to yourself?
Your devotion to me a way to show
Your love for her?
Did you think that I would be jealous?
Didn't you realize that you were
The only one worthy of her, and
She, the only one fit for you?

I have always been merely a child to her,
While you were the guardian in her place.
She appointed you my shield, my friend,
The moderator between my hatred and intellect.
I was the prize to be guarded, and yet,
You became her wish.
I lost you, and so I lost her.
I understand.

There is no confidant next to me,
No uncompromising truth before me.
I stand alone.
Without your vital presence near me,
I am surrounded by unimportant people,
By sycophants, subordinates.
All fear me, none know me.

So I will go out to the sky,
Attempt to hold onto a star.
Maybe if I find one far away enough,
I will find the fate that should have been.
One where all of us have no need for this.
I promised my sister liberation.
I promised myself the universe.

But

I promised you and you promised me
That we would be together
To rule the skies, to govern the stars.
Without you, I cannot reign as I wished.
I have no forgiveness in my heart.
I rage against the cosmos that took you,
So I will take that universe.

I will rule as I must to conquer it all,
Ignoring the voice that isn't there anymore.
The vacuum left by your presence
Gnawing at my heart.
For you, for revenge, for all the things that
You would tell me to ignore,
I will vanquish the universe.
That is the least it can pay.

---Finis---