Enju looked down at Gyokuran's huddled form with a pained expression on her face. Kneeling so that her face was level to his, she put her arms around him without a word. For a moment, both of them were still, before Gyokuran finally broke down and started to sob on her shoulder.

Brushing away the few tears that had formed in the corner of her eyes, Enju let herself become the support that Gyokuran always seemed to need whenever Mokuren was involved. Pushing away the part of herself that always railed against the unfairness of it all, Enju just held her love. That was all she could do.

Finally, Gyokuran pulled away from her as if embarrassed by the fierceness of his own emotions. With a small whisper, he muttered, "Thanks." Enju nodded with a small, slightly bitter smile on her face, before turning away. Only once her face was away from his, hidden by her long hair, did she let herself show the pain that was jabbing at her heart.

As Enju walked down the long corridor to her room, she hoped that she wouldn't meet any of the other scientists on the way. Once she was in her own space, she could cope with what she was feeling right now. But she knew that she would break down if she had to deal with anyone else's pity at the same time -- after all, no one could ignore the pain that were showing in her eyes right now. Except, perhaps Gyokuran...

Almost blinded by the tears, Enju groped for the controls that would open her door. Before she could manage to enter her key-code, she felt someone place a hand on her shoulder. Enju stiffened, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes. Even while her inner self was screaming at her run inside to sanctuary, she took a deep breath and turned.

Looking up and seeing Gyokuran's shocked face, Enju managed to put a smile on her face. "Gyokuran, what is it?"

Gyokuran's voice was strained as he answered, "Enju... what-"

Enju knew what he was asking, and ignored the question. Gesturing to her face, she said with that shaky smile, "What, this? I must have just gotten something in my eye. Don't worry about it, Gyokuran. Just go to bed and get some rest. Dream of your lovely Kichess and lets hope that she doesn't have another singing fit -- I'd rather not be pruning the doorways again-"

Enju turned away abruptly, shocked by the venomous turn her remarks and her voice had taken. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the door. "Gyokuran... please. Just go away." Her hand went up to her door's key-pad, and she punched in the code that finally opened the way for her sanctuary.

She quickly tumbled inside, and knew that she would be safe from prying thoughts and eyes for a few hours at least. The doors closed automatically after someone had entered and they could only be reopened by the password or by the person inside -- and she wasn't planning on opening her door until she absolutely had to-

"Enju! Tell me what's going on!"

Gyokuran's muffled voice came from behind the door, but his thoughts were thankfully blocked from her mind. One of the joys of shielded rooms... "Gyokuran, never mind! Just go away..." Enju knew that last command had come out more like a sob than anything else, but she could feel her self-control dissolving as her misery crashed down inside her again.

"Just... just go away..."

Enju collapsed onto the chair, burrowing her face onto the upholstered back. She let her hair hide her from the light and let the tears soak into the soft fabric. Maybe now he would leave her alone so she could regain control of herself and tell him with a happy voice tomorrow that it was all just nerves or-

Enju jumped up with a shout as a metallic screech filled her room. Turning, she saw the remains of what had been her key-pad on the floor outside the doorway. Gyokuran stepped over the mess and stepped into her room, still breathing hard from exerting his unpracticed and somewhat erratic psychic gifts.

"Gyokuran- I-"

Gyokuran went over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. Forcing her to look up at him, he asked in a voice that was both furious and afraid, "Enju, what's wrong with you? I just come to say thanks, and then I see you crying like someone had died! Then when I ask you what's wrong, you just throw me out! Then I can't hear anything from your apartment, so I have to bust my way in-"

Enju tried to push him away, but he just held onto her firmly. Finally, she stopped struggling and looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. As her eyes locked onto his, Gyokuran stopped speaking as he saw the hopeless feelings being reflected there... the same things he saw whenever he looked into a mirror.

"Enju... I never-"

Enju saw his expression turn into one of pained pity, sending even more knives of stabbing pain through her heart. Anything but that... So she did the only thing she could. The one thing that could give each of them some relief from love that they both knew would never be returned...

"Gyokuran, shut up."

With that, she kissed him. It was a long, deliberate kiss, designed to shut down higher brain functions for its duration. At its end, both of the were breathless and on the floor, with her on top of him.

"Enju, what-?"

Enju knew that she was going to regret what she was going to do, but somehow she just didn't care. For one night, he wasn't going to be thinking about Mokuren so loudly that she couldn't think about anything else...

"Gyokuran, didn't you hear me before? Quiet."

She moved her mouth down for another kiss, which he returned after a moment's hesitation. As they moved to the bedroom, Enju ignored the small tear escaping from her eye, because even now, all she could hear from his mind was Mokuren. Even now...

"En-ju-kun!"

Issei started and looked at the person in front of him with a dazed expression. "Sakura..." Sakura gave him an annoyed expression and waved her hands in front of his face.

"Hello~ Are you awake, Enju-kun? What are you doing staring out into space when I've been standing here for the last-" She gave him an exasperated look before pulling him up from the cafe chair. "Oh, never mind. It's too nice a day to waste talking about things like this."

Issei nodded somewhat hesitantly, his mind occupied by the memory that he hadn't thought of for a very long time... Why had he been remembering that of all things? It truly had been a long time since that part of the moon dreams had come to mind at all, especially in a day dream.

Giving him a concerned look, Sakura sighed before forcing his attention back on her. "Geez. You're really out of it, aren't you?" Taking Issei's slightly sheepish grin as an affirmative, Sakura sank down into the chair opposite the one Issei had vacated a moment before. Letting out another long, dramatic sigh, she said, "Come on. Tell me about it or else you're going to be moping all afternoon."

Issei gave her an indigant look before sitting back down himself. "I do not mope." At Sakura's silent gaze, Issei chuckled, before sighing and burying his face into his arms on the table. Lifting his chin slightly, he said, "Well, whether I do or not, I wasn't particularly planning on doing so now."

Sakura reached over and gave him a rap on the nose with her finger. "So 'fess up. What was going through that mind of yours?"

Issei looked down onto the white tablecloth and stayed silent while a slow flush crept up his face.

"It was that kind of dream, then?" Sakura grinned at the silent assent Issei's brightening blush seemed to provide, and started to muse out loud. "So... who would make you blush quite so much? It had to have been someone-"

"It was..." The rest of his whispered confession was muffled by his arms and tablecloth.

"It was...?" "Gyokuran."

Sakura's smile faded as she processed the quiet comment. Letting out a long breath, she leaned back in her chair. Then, with an abrupt jump, she leaned right up to Issei and then buried her face into her hands. "Sahjareem-sama... Issei, haven't we been through this already?"

Issei had to smile at the exasperated tone in Sakura's voice, but his grin faded quickly into a somewhat distant, almost pained expression. In a soft voice, he answered, "I thought I was done with it all. That..." Unable to finish his sentence, he let it trail away, leaving both of them in an uncomfortable silence.

Sakura thought through the two lives worth of advice that she had had to give Enju about this, and found that there wasn't anything she could say. Finally, in a small voice uncharacteristic of the usually energetic Sakura, she asked, "It still hurts, doesn't it?"

Issei pulled himself up from the table. Looking down at the woman who was giving him a look full of empathy and pity, he replied with a single word.

"Yes."

Without a word, Sakura moved from her chair and embraced him. Offering him her shoulder, she just held him as memories and ghosts awoke pains that had been thought to be lost in a life past. Glaring at the other diners who promptly went back to their own conversations, she left enough money to cover the coffee and gently led him out to the sunlight.

Enju stared up at her ceiling. It was dark in her room, but not dark enough to hide the fact that she was alone.

"Why am I not surprised?"

She sighed and buried her face into her sheets. The sad thing was that even after she and Gyokuran had become lovers, nothing had changed. He was unfailingly polite, but after they made love, he always left for his own quarters.

In a low, aggravated tone, Enju said, "We're still just friends. To him, we’re not really lovers -- just two associates who happen to be sharing a bed. Nothing special..."

She turned over on the bed and started to punch at her pillow, imagining someone's face there. Her's, Gyokuran's, Mokurens... The worst part was that she knew how empty this relationship really was, but she couldn't seem to let go of it. It was her only link to his heart...

Abandoning that train of thought in favor of lying back in bed, Enju closed her eyes and tried to forget what she'd inadvertently received from her lover's mind tonight, and every other night. How ironic that her telepathic reception got stronger when subjected to intense passion and emotions... Too bad the focus of those emotions wasn't her.

"Mokuren. Every single time..."

Before she could sink lower into her depression, a buzz came from the speaker. Enju wondered if she could fake being asleep, but she also knew that Shusulan probably would keep on ringing until she "woke" up.

"Come in, Shusulan."

Shusulan came in, her short cropped hair was wet from a recent shower. "Enju, what are you still doing in bed? It's time for your-" Her somewhat annoyed stream of words stopped as she noticed the despondent expression on the telepath's face. "Gyokuran again?"

When Enju didn't reply, Shusulan shook her head and examined her with a concerned look on her face. Moving over to the bed, she shook her head and sat down next to the long-haired scientist. In a quiet voice, Shusulan said, "You've got to do something about this, Enju."

Enju looked down and hugged at her knees. "I know."

Shusulan gave her a searching look, before continuing, "This isn't good for you, and you know it."

Enju only gave her a bitter smile, replying, "I know that too. But I can't help it, Shusulan. You know how long... how badly I wanted this. Some recognition of... I don't know. It's just not working out the way its supposed to be, and he doesn't even realize-"

"You mean he's too blinded by his infatuation for Mokuren that he doesn't see how much he's hurting you."

Enju gave Shusulan a sad look. "It's not his fault. How can he know? I'm the one who threw myself at him... he just thinks it's physical companionship."

Shusulan sighed at her self-sacrificing friend, but didn't say anything. Finally, Enju got out of bed and said, "I'm late for my shift, right?"

Shusulan nodded, standing up as well. She looked at Enju, who had turned toward the closet in search of a jumper for the day. Finally, she mused in a muted voice, "At least you're doing all you can, Enju. If he doesn't see it, it's his fault, not yours."

Enju's back stiffened before she exerted her willpower to relax it. Finally, with a bitter smile hidden in the shadows, Enju replied, "I know that too. I'm not sure how much it helps."

Shusulan nodded, and left the room. Enju listened to the hissing of the closing doors, and then took a deep breath. Somehow, Shusulan's cool way of looking at things made things seem just a little bit more organized.

Putting on the jumper and getting herself cleaned up, Enju frowned at the fragments of her dream that she could still recall. It had been odd -- for one thing, she had been a boy. An Earth boy, who had been living in what she assumed to be the future. After all, while not as advanced as her world, that Japan had certainly gone beyond the bloody mess that it was now.

Enju could remember a few faces -- a red-haired boy, and a girl who had hair almost like hers. Both of them had been centers of emotion for her dream-self, but she just couldn't seem to get a grasp on it... Smiling at her daydreaming foolishness, Enju squared her shoulders and went out to face the new day.

"It really is a nice day out..."

Sakura's voice faded as she looked down at her hands, and then at the cherry blossoms which were blooming in the park. She glanced at the silent young man sitting next to her before plopping down onto the grass. Propping herself up on her elbows with her feet kicking at the air, she gave him another look before sighing.

"What I can't understand is why now..."

Issei's voice was so confused that Sakura had to suppress the urge to give him another comforting hug. The public scene in the cafe had been bad enough, after all... Instead, she took his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze, which he returned. Both of them were silent as they contemplated the bright blue sky and the sweet spring breeze blowing through the blossoms.

"Stress always has interesting effects on people's minds." Sakura quirked a smile at Issei, who sighed again.

"I suppose. But why..."

Sakura sat up and said in a fierce voice, "Enju-kun. No -- Issei. You've got to get over it. I mean, I thought we both had. Our past lives shouldn't be what rules us now."

Issei looked up at her, and closed his eyes. "I know. I thought that I'd put it past me... it's just..."

Sakura looked at him lying there in the grass, and then pulled her knees up to her chest. Hugging them to her, she turned away a little and asked, "Are you really that sorry that you asked me? Because if you have to dig through past lives in order to find an excuse-"

Issei sat up immediately and turned Sakura so that she faced him. She refused to look at him, gazing down at the grass. Speechless, Issei gazed at her for a moment before putting his arms around her in a tight embrace.

"Don't say that, even in jest. Asking you to marry me was one of the best things I've ever done. That's the one thing I know I'll never regret."

Sakura looked up at his truly sincere eyes and smiled. Surrendering to his hold, she twined her arms around his neck and put her head on his shoulder.

"Then why are you thinking about Gyokuran?"

With a laugh, Issei answered, "If I knew, I don't think we'd be doing this right now, would we?"

Sakura shrugged and replied, "We _were_ supposed to be celebrating your first international show, but..."

"I know. I haven't seen you in two weeks, and all I wanted to do was be somewhere with you discussing the wedding, but-"

Sakura sighed and echoed, "But."

"Right."

Finally, Sakura pulled away from her fiancee. Looking at him for a moment, she gave a mock-threatening growl. Noticing the change, Issei gave her a half-anxious smile as he playfully moved away from her. She suddenly made a fist and stopped its movement right before it hit is face. "Idiot! You're supposed to move away when someone does that to you!"

Sakura's harsh words were belayed both by her loving tone and the soft touch that she laid upon his cheek with that hand which had been threatening him just a moment ago. Issei laughed out loud and took her hand from his cheek, kissing it before letting it go.

After that, both of them silently agreed not to mention that dream which had brought back unexpected specters from the past. Instead, the two joked around, and then got to the serious business of their wedding.

"What kind of style do you want?"

Sakura smiled and replied, "I've always dreamed of a big Western wedding -- something big and utterly romantic."

Issei nodded, and then cocked his head toward her. "So, you want ruffles, lace, and all of that?" At her enthusiastic grin, he gave a small sigh and mused, "Fine --I'll just have to change a few things on the dress, but not by too much, I think..."

At Sakura's amazed look, he grinned. "Come on, Sakura. Your fiance _is_ a fashion designer, after all. Did you really think that I would let anyone else touch your wedding dress? Of course, I was going to mention it to you after my sketches were complete to get your opinions, but this is a good a way as any to-"

Sakura's tackle left him breathless and pressed up against a rock which was unfortunately large and rather uncomfortable. Still, he stayed where he was for long enough so that Sakura's enthusiasm had an opportunity to run its course. Finally, when he felt her lift some of her weight off of him, he sat up and held her to him.

"Happy?"

Sakura's smile was radiant as she put her head on his shoulder. "That has to be the absolute best present anyone has ever thought to give me. It -- oh, it's wonderful! And of course..." Her expression was slyly teasing as she looked at Issei out of the corner of her eyes.

"Of course, what?"

His eyes were equally happy as he lay back down, this time onto the more comfortable grass. Sakura followed suit, making it so the two of them were face to face. "All the girls at the office will be _so_ jealous to know that my wedding dress was especially designed by a professional, just for me. You're going to do wonders for my status, darling."

Issei's tone was wounded as he said, "So, that's all you want me for? I feel so used-" As Sakura started to giggle, he couldn't help but follow suit.

He had never really believed that so much happiness was possible in one moment -- especially when he had been Enju. Even the Issei who had had all those amazing, strange, terrifyingly wonderful dreams of the past -- he had been so confused over everything. Especially over Jinpachi. Looking back, it was amazing how far he felt from that past, even though the effects of those incredible days were still being felt. For all the pain and grief he'd felt and gone through, having found Sakura made it all worth it.

It was all worth it. It really was. Even discovering Enju's grief, feeling her desperate love for Gyokuran and getting it mixed up with some of his own -- who was to say that it had all been terrible? It had felt awful, no question, but it had also made him stronger. Perhaps it was that strength that had made it possible for him to tell his parents that he wanted to be a designer instead of the salaryman they had wanted him to be.

Did he regret it? Before that showdown at Tokyo Tower, there had been moments where he had just wanted everything to be normal, wished all of the past away and for good reason. He looked at his fiancee, who was fit snug and just right next to him. She was silent as well, with closed eyes, probably enjoying the moment like he was. But now -- no. There was no regret in him anymore. Things had worked out for the best, even if the end result was not what he'd been expecting. Not what anyone had been expecting.

That's the way life is sometimes. All he knew was that he wouldn't trade this warm, perfect spring day for anything. Ever.

"I don't think the dream will come back anymore, Sakura."

She opened her eyes then, and looked at Issei. Seeing the calm in his eyes, she smiled.

"Good."

Issei opened his eyes and saw the globe, almost impossibly blue and white below him. He knew that he had just fallen asleep -- after a wonderful day with his fiancee, Issei had gone back to sketching and conceptualizing for his next show before turning in a little later than usual. He hadn't expected any dreams, so this was odd...

He was floating in space, but was anchored in place halfway between the moon and the Earth. As he was about to try test the force keeping him in place, he felt a presence behind him, and turned. A woman looked back at him, her long brown hair moving to an unseen breeze.

"Enju..."

She smiled and extended her hands toward him. He took them and felt a wordless communication with her as their minds touched as well.

Are you happy?

Oh yes, yes I am.

I'm glad/relieved/sad.

Sad?

My heart was only for one man, when I was here on the moon. It saddens me that the one constant in my life has been abolished.

Don't be. I have a new love now, one who truly loves me back. It can never be the same, but it is strong, my love for her.

Shusulan/Sakura has always been there for us, haven't they?

Yes. I think we should be glad for that.

Is he happy?

Gyokuran/Jinpachi? He is well. As for happy... well, if he doesn't get in trouble because of Ayume-san's age...

Everything's come back to where it should be.

Yes.

Enju let his hands go, and then embraced him. He put arms around her as well, feeling where they were joined, continued; soul to soul. Enju became less defined and with a last smile, turned into ashes, star-dust, that scattered into the night sky. He bowed to where she had been, and then closed his eyes.

Opening them again, he was back in his bed as he had expected to be. He would tell Sakura about this later, when he had had time to absorb all of the emotions that had resurfaced in that last catharsis, that release of Enju's soul. She would always be part of him, but she wasn't part of his life. Not anymore.

Standing, he walked to his apartment window and looked out at the city. It was the same as usual, with lights drowning out the moon and the stars, and windows becoming the new stars to look for. Ignoring them, he looked straight up at the full moon, and for a moment, she and all of the stars in her retinue were bright and glorious, sending a benediction down from the heavens. He heard Enju's laugh in that moment as well, light and joyful. Free.

When the magic had passed and all was normal again, Issei nodded. In a whisper, he answered, "Thank you, Sahjareem-sama."

"Goodbye, Enju."

---Fin---

4/1/98