As I roll up the poster, I can't help but to look at him- his face, his eyes, his lips... all of it, just once more. I remember getting this poster of him... I had been so excited at finding it- he looked so good in his pinstripe suit, so cool...

I remember when my brother had come into my room, and had been shocked at the fact that he had been plastered all over my room... I couldn't believe that he didn't seem to know who Kouji was... It seems kind of ironic now- that I was the one who showed my brother what he looked like, and told him how much I wanted to meet him...

I can still remember the shock I had felt at the fact that my brother's "friend" was Kouji... I had been so happy that my brother had had a friend at all- all his life, he had been so alone. Devoted to both me and Yuugo, trying to take care of us... while he had let himself care only about us and soccer.

He had never let himself have any friends, and must have been so lonely... but I had never really noticed- he had always been our big brother, always protecting us. He had seemed so strong, until Kouji came into his life...

Kouji- he loves my brother so much... I had had dreams that he would fall in love with me for so long- but they were just dreams. I never thought that I would really meet him, or talk to him like I have. I was so surprised when he revealed himself as Kouji, that time when my brother fainted after scoring those goals...

I had thought that he was a really cool, handsome guy, who was my brother's friend... Then I saw his face as his hat fell off... it was him! I could hear the whispers and screams of the other girls, but that didn't matter at all- my brother was hurt! And Kouji was there, like a knight in shining armor...

I could see that he cared about my brother a lot, and I was so excited and anxious... I was meeting, and talking to Kouji! Nanjou Kouji- my idol! But at the same time, my brother, the one who had always taken care of Yuugo and me was in the hospital... I was so confused.

And then, he hugged me! Kouji... he actually hugged me. I was in heaven, for a while. It even seemed like he may have actually liked me- That's what he said, when he hugged me. But then, Kouji and my brother stopped even talking to each other. It seemed like they really wanted to, though... and then Kouji didn't seem intersted in me at all.

Now I see why. He- he and my brother... like each other. No, love each other. They love each other so much, almost too much. It was shocking to find out, but after knowing, I saw all the little signs... my brother had actually started caring about someone besides up, and his smiles were somehow different.

I was still acting like I had before, screaming about Kouji whenever I could, with my friends, and with- Eri-san... But I somehow knew that it wasn't serious... I had almost given him up in my heart. But still, I couldn't just let him go... not really.

Not until I saw my brother later... after his injury. He really, really needed Kouji so much. I've never seen anyone so desperate and Kouji was in the same condition. I don't really know what happened between the two of them, and I don't think my older brother's going to tell me. But I can tell enough to know that I don't really have any hope at all...

And now, I want to really give him up. There was too much between them for me to even think about Kouji now. My brother needs him too much, and he needs my brother, too. I can't really even understand how much they must need each other, but I can feel it, a little. I can't even mind. They look too happy when they are together, and he makes my brother feel, laugh...

I look at the poster once more, and then I roll it up. I put it into the box with the others, and take it out of my room. Yuugo looks at me, questions in his eyes. I just smile at him, and shake my head. Kouji- I give you up to my brother... I know that you'll protect him, and that he'll protect you. I hope...

---Finis---

Monica/Akira-chan!