from: bigbill@whitehouse. gov

Hey, Doc, why is everybody on my case all the time? It is so unfair. Everybody knows JFK made it with Marilyn Monroe in the Oval Office, but they still think he was a great guy. Many presidents had "liaisons" before, during, and after, they were in office, including some of our greatest. You know, Washington really did try to become the father of our country. Jefferson. Lincoln. And some of our worst too. Does Warren G. Harding and a girl in the closet ring a bell? So what is the big deal? Why is everybody so upset about me doing a little extracurricular stumping with Monica? Besides, the temptation here is incredible. You know that many women are just hot for men of power. They think that the higher up you are, the longer your dick is. So tell people to lighten up on me a little, will you please?

the doctor's reply:

Well, Mr. President, you can take solace in the fact that people generally have very short memories, and that only historians will remember these little "irregularities." After you leave office you will magically be transformed from politician to elder statesman. Even the press, whom I generally regard as ranking somewhere between jackals and vultures on the food chain, will finally treat you with deference and respect. But I would also remind you that you are the Commander-in-Chief. We demand the highest code of conduct from the officers and men of our armed forces; why shouldn't we demand a high level of conduct from the man who issues them orders? That said, I should also say that I personally don't care who you boff. What I resent is that if you have an affair, or even a "quickie," you are going to have to, well, let's be polite and say "fib" about it. You know that you are not going to come right out and issue a statement saying, "Yeah, she was putty in my hands. I rode her like Air Force One! I rammed my missile into her silo, and when I blasted off, she shook like Los Angeles during a big one." Actually, I might respect you more if you said that. But you know you won't. You will be forced to "fib" about it. And that is what I hate. So keep the zipper up and the wick dry. Just for the next couple of years. After that, like any citizen, you have the right to pursue as much happiness as your wife will let you get away with.