from: va67811@mindspring.com

Dear Good Doctor,

My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for months now and we simply have not succeeded. Should we give up and adopt a child? What do you think?

the doctor's response:

While I am wholly in favor of adoption, I would also advise you never to stop trying, as it is truly the best part. But let us rethink the whole baby question for a moment. You want to bring a small person into this world who will throw up on your favorite shirt, piss down your arm, change the smell of your house forever, keep you up every night, embarrass you in front of all your friends, and costs more to raise than the Gross National Product of many third world countries. And then, eighteen years from now, he (or she) will show up with a ring through his nose, want your car every night, and call you stupid! Plus you never know how they will turn out. You can proudly visualize him (or her) standing at the dais saying, "I'd like to thank the Nobel Academy for giving me this prize." Or you can see them standing behind the counter saying, "Do you want fries with that order?" You just never know.