from: sirreginaldpercy@royaltynet.UK

Sire,

We are not amused. We find your puerile attempts at humor to be sophomoric, malignant, snide, and, one might even say, common. To say that it is amateurish drivel for the unwashed masses is almost belaboring the obvious. As for your outright and unabashed butchery of the King's English, what else could one expect from a child of the Hun. I have never seen so many complex sentences, so many run-on sentences, so many sentences of absolutely nightmarish structure! Have you no shame, sir? While one has come to expect less than perfect diction from you Yanks, it is now more than obvious that you intend to destroy the written word as well. Shakespeare, bless his soul, must be turning in his grave.

the doctor's reply:

Lighten up, Jack. Yank this! To paraphrase from one of the doctor's favorite movies, "I fart in your general direction, you pompous British Ka-nig-it!"