from: hadji2@calcutta.net

Dear Good Doctor,

I am painting myself red with embarrassment that I am not speaking English so good. But I am hoping so very greatly that you can help me with my problem. Although I am being thought of as being a "cool dude," and a very wild and crazy guy, I am to be having problems picking up the little chickadees. The young ladies just are not breaking down my door, if you are understanding me. What am I to be doing? Can you be helping me, doctor?

the doctor's reply:

No problemo there, Hadj. This sounds like a universal dilemma. Lets see. Since you guys are probably about twenty years behind us in fashion and such, I would advise the following: Buy yourself a couple really nice leisure suits, unbutton your shirt to the waist, and hang an obnoxious number of gold chains around your neck. Then go to your nearest local disco, get drunk, and every once in a while yell out, in your parlance, "Disco will never be dying!" as long as you can stand up. What the hell, you probably won't get laid either, but you may have a good time. And you definitely will get noticed.